Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Change of Pace

Does absence make the heart grow fonder when your blogger goes AWOL for a while? I'm sorry, things have been really crazy and I've been exploring other expressive outlets over the past few months. I probably miss you more than you miss my blathering anyway...

In the spirit of compelled expression, and since I've been drawing a lot more than writing lately, I wanted to share with you my latest project, one where I'm exploring expressing myself through facial expressions, drawin in self-portraits. I have a lot to say, but lately these emotions tend to bubble out of my face instead of flowing from my keyboard. I like to call this the 'conference call series', since usually I am making these expressions while on mute on a conference call, the way I spend a lot of my day. I find the act of drawing myself is impossible to do with any objectivity, as the overall mood and conditions have a lot to do with the subtle nuances I include. Nonverbally, I'm a buffet of 'tells', spilling out amusement, impatience, agression, and boredom at will. Each of these drawings has become somewhat of a caricature of my daily experience. Work, home, energy level, all are represented here. It's a fascinating process, you should try drawing yourself and then analyze the results.

Plate #1, 'Working on a Travel Day'

I see tired edges around unusually large eyes. I've been taking in information all day, trying to 'see' enough to prepare for the week ahead. In contrast, the mouth is very small, perhaps because I am in 'listen only' mode, or because I consider my input less important than seeing. While I might sometimes look like a gypsy, it's exaggerated in this drawing, perhaps because I'm trying to see this week's future, or conjure up the right potion for a successful training.

Plate #2, "Afternoon Training"

Here, I am focused elsewhere, maybe on my audience. I'm tilting my head to the right, which is something I do when I'm trying to listen intently since my left ear hears best. I see a hint of a smile, enjoying myself, but the slightly stern mouth means business. There might be a slight impatience in this expression, like someone has been asking a very long question and I'm ready to respond, but waiting my turn.
It's an interesting exercise to try to perceive yourself from the outside. Maybe I started doing this because of the mindfulness challenge, paying attention to things I wouldn't normally observe. That is, after all, the point.

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