To Be Valued

I recently read The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera and shared with you some of its profundity. After this week's tragic events at the Muskingum County Animal Farm, I immediately reached for the book again and went straight to a tabbed section. A section that, when I read it 10 days ago, seemed eerie and prophetic, and now seems - well, the same. Even if I disagree with organized religion and most of the associated doctrine, for me, Kundera applies inarguable and poignant perspective to the most known book of the bible... and to Us. From Part Seven, Chapter 2:

     "The very beginning of Genesis tells us that God created man in order to give him dominion over fish and fowl and all creatures. Of course, Genesis was written by a man, not a horse. There is no certainty that God actually did grant man dominion over other creatures. What seems more likely, in fact, is that man invented God to sanctify the dominion that he had usurped over himself over the cow and the horse. Yes, the right to kill a deer or a cow is the only thing that all of mankind can agree upon, even during the bloodiest of wars.

The reason we take that right for granted is that we stand at the top of the hierarchy. But let a third party enter the game-a visitor from another planet, for example, soemone to whom God says, "Thou shalt have dominion over creatures of all other stars" -and all at once taking Genesis for granted becomes problematical. Perhaps a man hitched to the cart of a Martian or roasted on the spit by inhabitants of the Milky Way will recall the veal cutlet he used to slice on his dinner plate and apologize (belatedly!) to the cow...

...True human goodness, in all its purity and freedom, can come to the fore only when its recipient has no power. Mankind's true moral test, its fundamental test (which lies deeply buried from view), consists of its attitude towards those who are at its mercy: animals. And in this respect mankind has suffered a fundamental debacle, a debacle so fundamental that all others stem from it."

-The Unbearable Lightness of Being, by Milan Kundera

Such a loss of value has a lot of debates stirring up...

Deep breaths of reality... Past due.

I have been undecided my entire adult life. Republican or democrat, progressive or traditional, cat person or dog person, gay or straight, happy or sad, viscious or passive, alone or alienated...

But none has tortured me more than the dichotomy of religious or atheist.

I have suffered the worst of both. And seen the benefits, and I'm getting old enough that I should choose, but like my students learning myers Briggs type for the first time, its hard to separate having a preference for one choice over another and having the ability to flex outside those preferences.

For instance, this week, I prayed. I asked for my own suffering in return for another's comfort. I lost two very important things to me, but I saw them as tiny miracles if they comforted someone else. After all, things are replaceable. Even if they are custom works of stained glass.

I just want to know if there is some sense to this relationship between asking and receiving. Maybe I have learned of a higher power that listens. Even if it communicates through pain.

I can't say what that means, besides only more questions.

My uncle Paul should have been on my mind instead. I am comforted by hospice and their gift of respite for the weary, but he is beyond weary. I am as sad for him as I could be. I only "pray" he's the last member of my family who dies from colon cancer. And that he is paid all the dignity he is due. I learned from you, Paul. I hope that someone is there when you take your last walk to show you the way home.

Perhaps people only find religion when the hole inside them is so big, no worldly thing can fill it.

Religious Tolerance

One of my personal goals is to acheive tolerance in all facets of my life. Tolerance for people with whom I disagree, tolerance for people who are not like me in stature or background, and tolerance for those who believe differently about the origins of the universe.

I have tried very hard to accept all groups without judgment, smile politely and try to see their point of view, but today... I have found a religion I simply cannot tolerate.

He follows his deity around, wherever it goes, basking in the apparent glow... He makes his entire day's schedule around moments where he can glimpse this deity. It's impossible to get him to be anywhere else if he's going to worship. This practice is really testing my patience. I need him in one place, you can bet he is worshipping in another... sometimes, he goes to worship and his deity doesn't even appear! Yet he waits quietly and patiently for the chance to sit at the deity's feet and receive the warmth.

My cat, Enzo, is a sun-worshipper. In true ancient egyptian form, he follows the sun around the house every day, practicing little rituals to soak up as much as he can. He starts in the front window, then he moves to the bedroom close to noon. He saunters to the laundry room mid-afternoon and spends the end of the daylight with the orchids in the dining room. If you need him during this time, forget it.. he can't be bothered to appear anywhere else unless it's raining outside.

Today, as the sun moved to the west for the evening, Enzo literally cried out for me to open the blinds so he could see his beloved. I resisted in my intolerance, but he is extremely devoted, persistent, and annoying.

I'm sad to say I will not achieve my personal goal of tolerance today, because I just cannot take this kind of extremism in my home.